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Things You Don’t Say to The Wedding Couple


Photographed by Caroline Tran. Wedding of Mirna and Robin.

There are some things you don’t bring up at a wedding, especially to the wedding couple. It’s all about wedding etiquette. It’s their big, not to mention long, day and lots of effort have been put into a wedding. Sure, you’ve got something on your mind but sometimes it’s best to keep mum. Read on for 5 things you don’t say to a wedding couple.

1. “How much did each table cost?”
Is this information really that important? Yes, everyone would be pondering about it but it’s only courteous not to mention it.  If what you really want to do is the math, we suggest that you don’t because hey, it’s a wedding. It’s a time to celebrate the love between two people who have decided to spend their lives together. Think of the gift / red packet (a.k.a Ang Pao) as a blessing to the couple; a gesture of support to the couple and the friendship you share with them, not how much you think the food costs.

2. “This is such an inconvenient venue!”
Couples try their best to accommodate guests on their wedding day. Some would provide transportation for guests to ease their commute. But if they don’t, there’s no real reason to fuss. Take it all in stride. Remember that the venue might hold a special meaning for the couple. Don’t undermine their choices because much thought has been put into preparing for this location.

3. “So when’s the baby coming?”
People may ask this in jest but it’s not something the wedding couple would like hearing on their wedding day. Sure, they would love to have children one day but it’s best to leave this question till much later. Here are some reasons why:

  • They might already be overwhelmed with plans that were leading up to the wedding. Let them enjoy the fruits of their labour.
  • Corporate promotions, getting a larger home, perhaps delighting in personal time between husband and wife. They might have other goals and plans before a baby comes along.

If you do plan to pop this question, you’d probably want to prepare yourself for a snarky response.

4. “Why are we seated with these strangers at the table?”
Managing the guest list and seating plan isn’t a straightforward task. It’s especially so when there are issues to consider such as last minute RSVPs and unexpected guests. Also, don’t ponder out loud to the couple if you noticed that a mutual friend or a family member wasn’t at the wedding. There could be many acceptable reasons for their absence and it might be not a positive one either. So don’t stir things up when there’s no need to.

5. “This place serves really bad food!”
Must you see the chef about this? Different strokes for different folks, is what we say. Menus are subjective to taste and if it doesn’t fit your palette, stay tactful about it. During the wedding planning, the couple would have to browse through a number of menus before narrowing them down to a good one. Etiquette would have you keep comments to yourself and enjoy the food the best you can.

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Keywords: Etiquette, Guests

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